Dr. M's pretty, hipsta' young assistant also has a giant puppy-dog, totally understandable crush on Dr. M. Whenever I start having brainaic conversations with Dr. M I can feel eyes of death on my neck. It's not that she doesn't view me as a totally pleasant person, she just doesn't want the competition.
Of course, in my 30 plus years on this earth I've found that the Dr. M's of the world end up with pretty, impeccably educated, graceful, classy girls with names like Marilyn or Audrey, who have good hair, a nice cashmere collection and a closeted but resilient naughty streak.
Of course, Dr. M has a fiancé and I imagine together they have a variety of nice matching cashmere sweaters, a secret closet of school girl costumes and really I wish them well because the Dr. M's of the world deserve such loveliness.
Anyway, Dr. M mentioned to me that he had some new dental toys and asked if I was interested in playing with them… For free.
So that night I took home a sleep monitor that used adhesive to stick to my forehead. It talks you through some exercises, you go to sleep and take it back to the doctor the next day.
Though I didn't have apnea, I did snore like a mother trucker(I'm sure that's the clinical language) and he thought the Somnadent(a retainer that juts your chin forward could help). The snoring was so bad that I woke myself up several times with the rattle of my own snoring. Yup, I'm definitely a cashmere girl for sure.
While I didn't disagree with any of it the out of pocket expense(I think $1500 with the likelihood that insurance wouldn't cover it) was a little too rich for my blood. I also lived alone and was only possibly rattling the ears of my creepy neighbor who lives in guesthouse behind my apartment. I was kinda okay with that.
The year progressed and I ended up being healthier than planned for and I had a chunk of change in my flexible spending account by the end of the year. I also by the years end had a lovely boyfriend who can sleep through my snoring most of the time, but it makes me feel guilty that he might be losing his beauty sleep on account of my gargantuan, ginormous tonsils.
Dr. M negotiated the cost with me and emptied out the piggy bank of my flexible spending account.
I fitted the device at initial settings yesterday and slept surprisingly well. My throat was a little dry(it props your mouth open a bit) and my jaw a little sore from holding an underbite all night but I did some serious dreaming and woke up feeling pretty refreshed.
I am in LA this week so my boyfriend has yet to witness what impact it has at it's minimally calibrated length. Dr. M also told me that my throat is likely inflamed from all the trauma it has been through from snoring MY-ENTIRE-LIFE and as that heals it may also reduce snoring.
So my next pretty little habit is to wear it every night of February. There are some adjustments that he has to make slowly initally to increase the underbite. After that, I can make the adjustments myself.
Technically I should start the habit on Feb 1st. But given that I'm only in LA for one more month, I need to start sooner to get his adjustments made.
I'll report back later after the weekend on what the boyfriend says of my sexy new contraption, but for the time being the deeper sleep is a good thing.
Call me classy.